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A podcast about our mental health and spiritual journeys.
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26 MAY 2020 · We start by encouraging Amy on her final classes in Yoga Teacher Training over the next few weeks and discussing the feeling of knowing what we're doing versus learning more over time. Then we discuss our responsibility as teachers and workshop leaders for making sure our clients don't get hurt. Responsibility is a hard thing to carry. We have to trust our clients know how to work through things and handle their own bodies and the work they are doing. We just help create the healing space and give direction, but we have to trust you know what to do with your body as you work through the healing work.
Then we dive into discussing Fact and Opinion, especially around the current pandemic and wearing masks and trying to keep ourselves and others around us safe. Where is the guidance and leadership to actually lead the way? Many people are arguing their own opinions as truth. And this ties to Responsibility, too! We are Responsible for ourselves and for those around us - so how do you move in this world in a caring, compassionate, smart manner?
We argue that the people who are choosing to not wear a mask right now need to really look at their reasons - who are they really angry at? What is the point of yelling at or mocking others for taking care of themselves? Heather shares a moment from the grocery store where someone laughed at her while wearing a mask. (Heather does not care, Heather grew up in theatre.) But it still hit - why did this person choose to laugh? Amy shares her fears of interactions like these. Neither of us understand why others won't take the safety of others seriously.
Does this point to a bigger conversation, a bigger gap, a bigger divide between people? We hope not. We hope that this is just part of the conversation that people will have and that science and facts will take a stronger lead. We do chat about Faith and Facts for a bit as well. History has shown us that there are risks if we don't listen to science. Listening to each other needs to be part of the conversation, too.
We believe that we are stronger in community and when we focus on taking care of others and the earth. We acknowledge it's hard, but that it's also the responsibility of taking care of the planet and others in our lives. Compassion is stronger than fear. Leadership needs to be better guide and help remind us to do no harm and to help our neighbors.
We acknowledge it's hard, to go face our fears and be aware of being out with others right now. Amy references Dr. Seuss' Star Bellied Sneeches when it comes to masks. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Sneetches_and_Other_Stories) Heather reminds us that we don't know what others are going through, and that we need to pay attention and be helpful to others.
How do we mitigate our own risks for ourselves and take care of those working hard right now? Yes, we get ranty about people who are being loud and obnoxious about health and safety. Amy talks about being brave and venturing out for a few errands. Her awareness of the people around her and taking care of her and her families’ Mental Health and Physical Health does take so much energy right now.
Amy offers mini-meditations, used in Yoga to transtion from pose to pose, now used to transition from location to location. These moments of re-centering and breathing means we have to check in more often and can't run on auto-pilot, but it takes more energy to navigate the world this way. It's baby steps to be in the world in a safe way again.
Winging It The Podcast is going to take a break for a couple of weeks to take care of some of our own family and home needs, and we'll start recording and scheduling new episodes again soon. Until then, take care of your Mental Health and be aware that many people around you may need help taking care of theirs as well. Be kind to yourselves, and remember that the responsibility is up to us all. We'll chat again soon.
19 MAY 2020 · The stigma of Mental Health is still all around us. We feel the supposed shame and even choose to not talk about it at times ourselves. We'd like to keep breaking that attitude down.
Seeing and acknowledging the approaches to Mental Health in our own families and family line, helps the conversation for us and for our children and others in our lives. From "nerve pills" to Xanax, we discuss the things that affect our bodies and lives for several generations. Engaging in conversations with those around us helps us develop better coping skills. Amy's daughter recommends searching out a Spotify App called Daily Wellness at https://open.spotify.com/playlist/37i9dQZF1EFwIFWJQozmXp?si=amBBoj5zQBSPNZV0-fJqeQ .
With the current pandemic situation, we're applying the skills we've learned to be able to handle what we have to deal with now. Amy's conversations with her daughter show how we can apply the communication skills and learn to discuss what we're really feeling. Heather shares about going to a Strong Bonds (https://www.strongbonds.org) event for military couples and learning about the Five Love Languages (https://www.5lovelanguages.com) and the Speaker-Listener techniques (https://www3.nd.edu/~pmtrc/Handouts/Speaker_Listener_with_Example.pdf) for communicating in her relationships and in life.
Sometimes the gorgeous front yard hides the rocks and weeds in the backyard. What do we show off, show to our neighbors and family, and what do we take care of for ourselves? The stigma is pervasive. Even in the Military. There are some commanders who encourage taking care of their Mental Health in their Soldier's lives, and there are some who still deny it and try to cover it up. *
*Extra note from Heather: "This article by Nate Dinger for Medium points out the need for acceptance and treatment for our Military. The author is a friend, and is an excellent example of a Commander who leads with understanding." - https://medium.com/@natedanger/stigma-ptsd-and-addiction-the-importance-of-treatment-support-and-acceptance-531d4e306683
The current pandemic is creating a level of trauma and frustrations for many, so remember you are not alone. It will not be this way forever.
Amy believes that part of the problem is when we believe our Mental Illness doesn't allow us to trust our own minds. We may not want to admit that we're out of control of our minds. Heather associates that to a sprained ankle (it sorta makes sense), but we have to learn to trust ourselves and heal our bodies so we can keep going.
Medication can help correct brain chemistry, and this is a partnership and awareness between you and your therapist to find the prescription that fits for you. Using medication can help balance the chemistry inside and allow us to focus on meditation or other work to keep bettering ourselves. In this day and age, there is constant influence from the world around us. And we acknowledge that not everyone will have these impacts or will others react the same way to an event.
We both note that when we're in the middle of a depressive episode, we don't want to reach out, we don't want to engage. This can be a signal for our friends to pay attention and be able to help us, and note that it "it's hard to ask for help when you're in it." Make a therapist appointment in the clear moments and take care of yourself when you can.
There is no immediate fix, no easy button. Even starting medication can take a bit of time for your system to adjust, and for your own body to find what works, or if something different will work better than the one before.
Life situations can affect us and Heather discusses her past work environments and Situational Depression episodes. Workplaces now are more cognizant of the importance of Mental Health support for their employees. We hope that businesses will be aware of this during the current pandemic and moving forward, showing they have their employees mental and physical health in mind. Amy points out that some situations can be changed, but sometimes finding a therapist and medication can help alleviate in the meantime. Choose the pathway, the first step, that works for you.
Your family and friends are in your life to support you. And if you engage in conversation with them, you may learn that they have experiences and are going through things, too. Life is wonderful and terrible and everything in between.
Amy says the first step is to show yourself compassion. It's hard to do. But know that there is nothing fundamentally wrong with you, but maybe you could just use a little bit of help. Know there are lots of options - reach out and visit with someone to see what may work for you. And help end the shame and the stigma so that others can learn how to care for themselves, too.
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12 MAY 2020 · We had a couple of technical and recording issues today, so this episode has some cuts and edits in between all the random parts of the conversations. Mother's Day has some powerful feelings and stress around it for many people. We dive right into discussing the pain and issues that old wounds bring up for us, about fitting into a perfect label. Talking about the fears and our feelings of worth is a part of this.
Sometimes these feelings and traumas cut across generations, and shapes up that we need to work on ancestral healing and Healing the Mother Wound. Heather recommends Pixie Lighthorse's workshops at: https://www.pixielighthorse.com/transforming-mother-wound/
Amy recommends "So You Think You're Intuitive" Podcast at: https://natalie-miles.com/podcasts/ Heather also recommends Mark Wolynn's "It Didn't Start With You" (https://www.markwolynn.com/book/)for working through family history and traumas.
We're working on Listening and Facing Fears right now, working through the feelings and situations around us. We've made it through the "unknown" so far, and are using the things we've learned to help ourselves and our own mental health. We've both recently picked up Glennon Doyle's Untamed (https://untamedbook.com) and Amy highly recommends the daily conversations Glennon holds online.
Amy shares a moment that Heather asked about a specific pain and how she dealt with it. Sometimes, if you can find the part of your body that feels the actual pain, then maybe that helps you to tune in to what's really going on. Our bodies tell us - headaches, gut-punches, bone-tired - how do you listen to your body?
As human beings, feelings roll through us all day long. Why do we expect to always be happy or expect those around us to only be one emotion? Why do we apologize for saying "I'm having a hard time right now."? We both note that bullet journaling is not a fit for us because we can't just narrow it down to one feeling all day.
Next we talk about chickens and chicken life, and how we're drawn to the winged creatures in our life. To wrap up today's chat, Amy talks about needing to make wax for her chalk painting line of waxes and paints, currently on sale at Gatherings in Georgetown. It's a multi-faceted conversation all around!
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5 MAY 2020 · We thought that making it to Episode 13 was a good excuse to chat about our own inner guidance and intuition. When things happen, or we notice things, are they signs or just coincidence? We think it depends on how you interpret them, what the sign means to you. Is it confirming something for you or challenging you to look at something in a new way?
When we're paying attention, we notice numbers, like 1111 or 222 or 1234 in our daily lives. In nature, when we sit still, we can see nature moving all around us. Our intuitions kick in when we meet a someone new, giving us feedback on if they are a person we want to get to know better and be around, or if they are a person we don't want to be around at all.
And, that gives us a pause to think about our own vibes we're putting out. What do we see in others and what do others see in us? There are things that we feel guide us, and keep us grounded, like art, like yoga, like meditation, like writing. People who know us understand, but others may not, and we may not feel strong enough to share all of us with the rest of the world.
Talking to nature, looking for signs, and sharing what we learn along the way - like when Heather shares what she learned about the term "knock on wood." What superstitions or signs do we hold on to or use because of how we were raised or our culture, or because of our own experiences? The signs in our lives matter to us, but may not make any sense to anyone else, and that's okay.
Many of us feel we receive signs from loved ones who have passed, so those interpretations are up to us. Learning to listen to our own intuition and trusting our own inner voice is the deeper connection and answer we need when we need it. Your Heart knows the answers to any question you ask.
Some of the tools we've used are Rune stones, Tarot cards, interpreting Dreams, symbolic Writing, and just observing Nature. Our best connections come from observing and listening and just *knowing* when something feels right. Sometimes this energy feels primal, and sometimes it feels like flowing in a spiral, where we sense more than just what we hear or see.
Watching the trees wave on the wind, we discuss the current Coronavirus and awareness that it spreads via the air. Nature has far deeper conversations than us humans are privy to, and we know it.
To wrap it up, find ways to listen and observe your world around you more. Trust the things you sense, even if they feel silly at first. Only you can interpret the signs meant for you.
28 APR 2020 · The Stages of Grief are listed as Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance - and there is no clear cut path through them, as we often go back and forth or between stages. During the current Coronavirus Pandemic, many are grieving their previous way of life and it feels like we're losing some of what we're used to.
At first, it feels like we've lost a freedom to make our own choices, but when we discuss it further, our choices have just changed. Heather chooses to continue to stay inside to avoid transmission, as well as making end-of-life decisions now just in case, but she wants the peace of mind in making her own choice if she were to get sick and end up in the hospital. Instead of protesting for the choice to go out, we need to be aware that it's fear of death and denial or anger at the changes, and look to compassion and acceptance and make plans instead of blame.
Amy discusses taking a hard look at the anger and where it surfaces for each of us during this time. Are there past triggers that need to be sorted out? The overall grief now is different from direct loss of a loved one, and we acknowledge that, but humans across the globe are processing these emotions together now. Are we feeling Angry at the world or ourselves? Are we dealing with Depression? Even those of us who have dealt with Depression and Anxiety for years, this is different.
We remind ourselves that the current mental load is still pretty heavy - there is still work to be done and we have to take care of the things in our daily lives that demand our attention. This "pause" in time is not just a "snow day", we still have to slog through the things that need to be taken care of, and be aware that we need to do things safely so we don't get hurt and end up in a hospital at this time anyway!
We look around and see what others are accomplishing during this time, and yes, sometimes we still feel like we're not doing enough or doing the same things as others. This is another reminder to *not* compare - we all have skills and offer different things to this world. We'd like to look toward community, communication, and cooperation instead of competition and conflict as we all move forward.
Instead of comparing ourselves to others and their level of accomplishments, we recognize we don't know what others are going through or how they process their emotions or their time in this situation. Telling ourselves we "should" do something does not help. Be able to say "It Is What It Is." right now, and accept this moment as it is. Someone else may be going through Bargaining or Denial or Anger but be producing good work. We only know our own moment and how we are dealing with it.
Heather discusses the loss of a family member a few months ago versus the grief of the current situation. And then looking at her own Depression days and determining if it's related to the pandemic or her own history. Amy reminds us that if we've dealt with Depression in the past, then our body is used to that response, creating neural pathways much like ruts in a dirt road. (We grew up in parts of Texas where dirt roads are normal driving.) She indicates the Yoga term "Samskara" where things go along where they are used to going. These cues in our body from past experiences can be because of past trauma, even if they don't make sense now. Our body tries to protect us, like "Fight or Flight" response, even if there is no immediate threat. Recognize your own self-talk and be aware of your own responses so you can be in the moment, even if it's scary.
Saying "It Is What It Is" is part of the acceptance. Heather mentions the fact that the current situation has aggravated her disordered eating patterns. She's dealing with her health issues and fear/anxiety around food in this time when shopping and food options are limited. Amy discusses her past traumas flaring up around money and anger and fear, even now in a healthier relationship. Both acknowledge that experiences with Depression may be helpful in noticing how they handle the situation now, as well as encouraging their friends and family members who are feeling Depressed to seek help.
Closing reminders - Communicate, ask for help if you need it. Be mindful and aware that it's not just you dealing with this. It Is What It Is. For right now. It will change.
If you do feel Depressed and need help, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is: 800-273-8255. Military and Mil-Spouses can access help through MilitaryOneSource.mil or 800-342-9647. Some communities and states have set up mental health support access specifically to discuss COVID-19 and the current situation. In Texas, that number is: 833-986-1919.
21 APR 2020 · What is Faith to you? Religion and how we were raised factors in so much for our lives. It may be God, Goddess, a Higher Power, the Universe, or Mother Nature. From the Church and organized religion, to Paganism or Earth Medicine, we discuss the broad spectrum that we've lived through and studied for ourselves.
Everyone can and does have a different experience of/with God. Amy discusses her upbringing in a Christian church and the empowerment of rehab and AA to allow her relationship with God to be one that works for her. Heather discusses her upbringing in a Christian church and her approach to learning and connecting with Nature for her spiritual needs.
Faith can help us get through the rough patches, but is that faith placed in someone else "speaking for God" or is that faith in ourselves being able to navigate the changes? Is the God we believe in one who sits up on a cloud or smacks us when we misbehave? Or is the God we believe in seen in the acts all around us? Maybe Faith means believing it will all work out as it should, not that God will take care of you because you have Faith.
Science has shown us more of what our world holds, so we no longer believe in a "mysterious ether" to cause illness, we can identify the virus. Science is still figuring things out, but as a species, we still attribute the unknown to a Higher Power.
Amy refers to Julia Cameron (The Artist's Way- https://juliacameronlive.com/the-artists-way/) and her view of God as "Good Orderly Direction" as Heather discusses the pattern of molecules becoming life as it is.
We have a hope that the things we learn now will help us move forward and filter out the yuck and the noise. We're looking for good information, leadership, and things or people we can trust right now. As a species, we thought we were superior, but this virus has kicked that attitude. So how to we cling to the basis of our Faith in times like this?
Does it all just come down to just having Faith in this moment, this present moment, right now? Yes, our life could and will probably change. From Buddhism to AA to many other practices and approaches: the only moment is this one right now. Whatever works for the moment. If whatever you're grasping right now isn't working for you, then know there are other options
We say, as long as your Faith or Religion does not cause harm to others, then believe what works for you. And remember, don't do harm to yourself either, based on a belief or religion. Don't add the layer of bringing shame to your God. If your Faith makes you feel worthless or beats up your self-esteem, then maybe find a different thing to believe in. We believe, and choose to believe, there are good people and good things in this world. That's what we have Faith in.
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14 APR 2020 · The new routine is, well, weird. We know. We're living it, too. What are the small, simple daily things that help? What are the good habits we're trying to cultivate during this time vs. what are the bad habits that we might want to try to break? Hand washing and social distancing - but what else? How did it affect people 100 years ago and how long will it affect us?
We're tired of the "shoulds" that tell us to use this time to create a new business or write a book. Some days, it's all we can to get through the day. And yes, some days drinking may be an answer, but maybe it's really not. How do you find other ways to deal each day? Work through the feelings without guilt and identify if it's an unhealthy approach and attempt to numb out.
Is it just "Quarantine Blues" or is it Depression? Let the "normal" expectations go. Each day is different and how we get through it is up to us. (https://www.upworthy.com/coronavirus-productivity-motivation-myths-dangers) Amy talks about the "cultural obsession with capitalistic productivity," and how it can affect our anxiety and currently triggers past traumas. Worry over control in our lives is surfacing everywhere. We're not alone in asking "how do I earn my keep when I can't work right now?"
Life has kinda flipped the Monopoly board on us all right now, and that metaphor just feels so apt. Can we create families and encourage people to share their art and their lives no matter if they "earn their keep?"
We are still in the middle of this pandemic and don't know how it will play out yet. One thing we hope is that more of a light will be shined on Mental Health and awareness. Heather references the studies from Vietnam regarding drug use and life changes. (Ref: Robins Study, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/27650054 )
Take a step, a small step, a baby step, to break an old habit or hold on to a good habit or healthy routine. The waves or fear can be overwhelming, so please, find a moment to remind yourself that you are okay. It may not be perfect. But you are okay. We are okay, just for a moment. We know we can't solve the problems but we can acknowledge the feelings and look for hope.
We discuss dealing with our Shadow Work during this time as well. (Ref: Feeding Your Demons - https://bookshop.org/books/feeding-your-demons-ancient-wisdom-for-resolving-inner-conflict/9780316013130) It's hard enough, but now we need to visit with our Shadows to be able to handle each day. Notice our reactions of rage or fear and ask the feeling what is really going on in this moment.
Check in and see how you're doing, each day. Find the things that do help. Reach out to friends, set up a healthier routine, and give yourself grace.
7 APR 2020 · ***This episode was recorded before the self-isolation regulations due to coronavirus. We are editing and working on both previously recorded shows and new shows for the coming weeks. ***
Winging It Episode 9: We discuss finding "square one" for yoga, massage, meditation, and figuring out a spiritual journey that works for you. Digging into books to learn from other thought leaders, like Carolyn Myss, Elizabeth Gilbert, Carl Jung, Eckhart Tolle, and others. Reading can be a great starting point to determine what path you feel comfortable following.
In yoga, the starting point is sitting - but there are so many different ways to just Sit. And Breathe. Every *body* is different and we need to be aware that each body will respond differently. Your mobility and stretching need to be adapted to your body's needs.
We also discuss the internal judgment, of being able to show up in a space and see how some people make it look easy. We have to learn to listen to our own bodies so we can find our level of comfort and ways to push ourselves. Find the places you are comfortable. Use a chair if that's what your body needs!
Building a foundation does involve asking internal questions and taking what we've learned in life and building upon that. We're all learning. Sometimes we forget what it's like to just start - a spiritual journey, a yoga class, a writing project - so how do we do that for ourselves and our clients? Sometimes digging in and asking questions and processing old crap can leave us crying and intimidated. But we feel we need to do it, and be able to help others do it. Be mindful about how you move, in all ways, and not try to "smash" into a position (either yoga, or as a person in your day to day life).
Appreciate and affirm the steps you do take. Remind yourself of how far you've come and that you are strong. Break the habit of "no pain, no gain" and learn your physical, mental, and spiritual needs.
As we discuss the pending pandemic - workers were still expected to be in an office (so much has changed since then!) we are aware that not everyone performs to their best and more people are listening to their bodies and taking mental health days to try to reset.
It's all a starting point. And not everyone is at the same starting point. So how do you, and how do we, help others who are just now learning and starting to listen to their bodies and hearts?
31 MAR 2020 · We, like millions of you, are dealing with the Coronavirus Pandemic by self-isolating. So we're checking in, (via phone, and not across from each other!) to see how we're handling the new stress and keeping our mental health in check.
From pulling poision ivy and weeds, to the Serenity Prayer, to finding the baby steps to grace and gratitude. What can we control in all this right now? We can't control the news and the issues, but maybe we take a page from Buddhism, where we can step away from the worry and remind ourselves to stay in the moment and find a bit of gratitude.
*We are well aware this entire situation is hard. We are NOT saying "Just think happy thoughts!" - we are advocating for mindfulness and awareness for what we're doing during all this.* We are fully aware we are lucky, and our hearts go to those working in hospitals and industries where they are at risk, and to their families as they adapt and try to stay safe.
Sometimes, crying is what we need right now. The fear of the unknown is a part of life. So what works for you - prayer? Dancing? Writing? Something else? How do we keep breathing during a pandemic where the breath is what seems to be dangerous. Fear, of the imagined future moments, pulls us out of the current moment of being here and being okay here now. How do we stay grounded, stay mindful, stay aware?
Re-centering with a deep breath, practicing breathwork, and feeling safe with breathing helps. Meditation and being aware of the thoughts we're thinking helps. We are given an opportunity to use our gifts now. An opportunity to practice, to find out what works for you/us. This isn't a reset, but more of a recalibration, a chance to practice resting.
Tech glitch aside - we pick back up and reiterate keeping our own practice and mental health in mind. Find ways to pull away from the news and opinions, and look for the good and spark the positive things in your life. Curate your social media to focus on the things that bring encouragement and support. And try to stop "shoulding" yourself, judging yourself during this time. We're all navigating this in differnt ways. Show yourself Grace, as much as everyone around you.
Reach past the fear, and look for the next-best emotion. We don't have to leap from fear to joy, we can take those baby steps up, and acknowledge our emotions and awareness. Sometimes that means crying, sometimes that means pulling yourself up to go again, or maybe it means a margarita. Yoga, dancing, taking walks, or pulling weeds and poison ivy in the yard - balance that rest with movement. Find ways to reconnect to the earth, stay grounded, and stay aware. Slow down and find new ways to be sustainable, because we can't go back to the way things were.
24 MAR 2020 · In this episode we try to discuss our Truths, the experiences that have shaped us, and how we "see" things in conversation with others. This chat was a bit difficult to, well, explain, but we tried.
Life experiences give us a different lens to see what happens in our world. Our awareness matters, so we try to keep that awareness in how we move through things. The lenses that our family see us through as children or teens may not be the same that we need to be seen through now, today. Practicing vulnerability is harder than it looks! So we discuss Ego and expectations, both ours and the "they" out in the world, and admiring the people who have ignored the expectations and show up as themselves. How do "they" do it? How do *we* do it?
Everyone has a right to their perceived truth. But remember - you do the best you can at the time with the infromation you have in the moment. Not everybody is ready to move forward or face their traumas, we have to try not be judgmental and just have compassion. And yes, it would be nice if *this* was taught in school, but that's why we have to do the work now, and figure it out as we go along now. Have these conversations. Be vulnerable, and communicate what you're feeling, and help others with building resilience.
Check in with your body awareness, too. As humans, we can ignore the pain and keep going, but is that healthy? No. Sit, listen, and tune in to what's going on physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
A podcast about our mental health and spiritual journeys.
Information
| Author | Amy & Heather |
| Organization | Amy & Heather |
| Categories | Personal Journals |
| Website | heartwingingit.com |
| heather@heartwingingit.com |
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