15 NOV 2021 · Many Say Parents Are Doing Too Much for Their Young and Adult Children,
Todays Grand Parents are Not Necessarily Balanced With These Realities.
A majority of young adults who have received financial help from their parents say at least some of it was for recurring expenses. Six-in-ten say the money went toward household expenses such as groceries or bills, and significant shares used it to pay their tuition, rent or mortgage.
Beyond financial independence, the pace with which young adults are reaching other markers of adulthood has slowed significantly over the past several decades. Today’s young adults are staying in school longer and are marrying and establishing their own households later than previous generations. A growing share are living in their parents’ homes well into their 20s and even early 30s. Some of these changes are linked to economic challenges, while others may represent a realignment of goals and priorities.
Majority of the public says parents do too much for their young adult children; most parents of young adults disagree
A majority of Americans say parents do too much for their young adult children
There’s a sense among a majority of Americans that parents are doing too much for their young adult children these days – 55% of all adults say this, while only 10% say parents are doing too little for their young adult children. About a third (34%) say parents are doing about the right amount.
Young adults are less likely than middle-aged and older adults to say parents today are doing too much for their young adult children. About three-in-ten (31%) of those ages 18 to 29 say this compared with 55% of those ages 30 to 49 and more than six-in-ten of those 50 and older. White adults (62%) are more likely than black (46%) and Hispanic adults (38%) to say that parents help their adult children too much.
When those who say parents are doing too much for their young adult children were asked in an open-ended format in what ways they are doing too much, 43% pointed to financial assistance. Some 37% said parents are trying to solve their children’s problems for them or are afraid of letting their children fail. About one-in-five (23%) said parents are doing too much for their adult children by letting them live with them. And 4% pointed to providing babysitting and child care for grandchildren as examples of how parents are doing too much for their adult children.
Most parents say they do the right amount for their young adult children
Looking at the views of parents of children ages 18 to 29, there’s a disconnect between their assessment of parents of young adults generally and how they describe their own family dynamics. While 61% of adults who have children ages 18 to 29 say parents are doing too much for their young adult children these days, only 28% say they themselves do too much for their young adult children. Most of these parents (63%) say they do about the right amount for their young adult children, while only 8% say they do too little.
Mothers and fathers have similar views on this. About three-in-ten mothers (29%) say they do too much for their young adult children as do 26% of fathers. Roughly equal shares of mothers and fathers say they do too little (7% and 9%, respectively) or that they do the right amount (62% and 65%).
Young adults themselves are largely satisfied with what their parents are doing for them. A majority (65%) say their parents do about the right amount for them – similar to the share of parents of young adults who say they do about the right amount for their kids. Only 18% of adults ages 18 to 29 say their parents are doing too much for them, and 16% say their parents are doing too little.
Young adults are less likely to say they received financial help than parents of young adults are to say they gave it
Among adults ages 18 to 29, 45% say they received a lot of (24%) or some (21%) financial help from their parents in the past 12 months. About one-in-five (21%) say they received only a little financial help, and 34% say they received none.
About six-in-ten parents say they've given at least some financial help to their adult children in the past year
Generally, parents are more likely to report giving financial help to their young adult children than 18- to 29-year-olds are to say they received help from their parents.3 Roughly six-in-ten parents with children ages 18 to 29 (59%) say they gave their adult children a lot of (29%) or some (30%) financial help in the past 12 months. About four-in-ten (41%) say they gave them only a little (25%) or no (16%) financial help during that same time period.