The stigma of Mental Health is still all around us. We feel the supposed shame and even choose to not talk about it at times ourselves. We'd like to keep breaking that attitude down.

Seeing and acknowledging the approaches to Mental Health in our own families and family line, helps the conversation for us and for our children and others in our lives. From "nerve pills" to Xanax, we discuss the things that affect our bodies and lives for several generations. Engaging in conversations with those around us helps us develop better coping skills. Amy's daughter recommends searching out a Spotify App called Daily Wellness at https://open.spotify.com/playlist/37i9dQZF1EFwIFWJQozmXp?si=amBBoj5zQBSPNZV0-fJqeQ .

With the current pandemic situation, we're applying the skills we've learned to be able to handle what we have to deal with now. Amy's conversations with her daughter show how we can apply the communication skills and learn to discuss what we're really feeling. Heather shares about going to a Strong Bonds (https://www.strongbonds.org) event for military couples and learning about the Five Love Languages (https://www.5lovelanguages.com) and the Speaker-Listener techniques (https://www3.nd.edu/~pmtrc/Handouts/Speaker_Listener_with_Example.pdf) for communicating in her relationships and in life.

Sometimes the gorgeous front yard hides the rocks and weeds in the backyard. What do we show off, show to our neighbors and family, and what do we take care of for ourselves? The stigma is pervasive. Even in the Military. There are some commanders who encourage taking care of their Mental Health in their Soldier's lives, and there are some who still deny it and try to cover it up. *

*Extra note from Heather: "This article by Nate Dinger for Medium points out the need for acceptance and treatment for our Military. The author is a friend, and is an excellent example of a Commander who leads with understanding." - https://medium.com/@natedanger/stigma-ptsd-and-addiction-the-importance-of-treatment-support-and-acceptance-531d4e306683

The current pandemic is creating a level of trauma and frustrations for many, so remember you are not alone. It will not be this way forever.

Amy believes that part of the problem is when we believe our Mental Illness doesn't allow us to trust our own minds. We may not want to admit that we're out of control of our minds. Heather associates that to a sprained ankle (it sorta makes sense), but we have to learn to trust ourselves and heal our bodies so we can keep going.

Medication can help correct brain chemistry, and this is a partnership and awareness between you and your therapist to find the prescription that fits for you. Using medication can help balance the chemistry inside and allow us to focus on meditation or other work to keep bettering ourselves. In this day and age, there is constant influence from the world around us. And we acknowledge that not everyone will have these impacts or will others react the same way to an event.

We both note that when we're in the middle of a depressive episode, we don't want to reach out, we don't want to engage. This can be a signal for our friends to pay attention and be able to help us, and note that it "it's hard to ask for help when you're in it." Make a therapist appointment in the clear moments and take care of yourself when you can.

There is no immediate fix, no easy button. Even starting medication can take a bit of time for your system to adjust, and for your own body to find what works, or if something different will work better than the one before.

Life situations can affect us and Heather discusses her past work environments and Situational Depression episodes. Workplaces now are more cognizant of the importance of Mental Health support for their employees. We hope that businesses will be aware of this during the current pandemic and moving forward, showing they have their employees mental and physical health in mind. Amy points out that some situations can be changed, but sometimes finding a therapist and medication can help alleviate in the meantime. Choose the pathway, the first step, that works for you.

Your family and friends are in your life to support you. And if you engage in conversation with them, you may learn that they have experiences and are going through things, too. Life is wonderful and terrible and everything in between.

Amy says the first step is to show yourself compassion. It's hard to do. But know that there is nothing fundamentally wrong with you, but maybe you could just use a little bit of help. Know there are lots of options - reach out and visit with someone to see what may work for you. And help end the shame and the stigma so that others can learn how to care for themselves, too.