In
1972, the retired Vicar of Chidick, in the west county of Dorset, England,
apparently came to Loch Ness to ‘exorcise’ the Loch Ness Monster. Reverend Donald
Omand, a doctor of philosophy, and a man rather bizarrely said to have been
held in particular high ‘esteem by circus people throughout Europe,’  for his ‘Ability to spiritually de-louse
potentially dangerous places such as big tops, and wild animals,’ according to paranormal
researcher Ted Holiday, arrived at Loch Ness to rid the Lake of the infamous giant
water-monster, and the BBC came along to record it on film for posterity.



On
the shores of the Lake, the Vicar, dressed in his ecclesiastical robes, entered
a small rowing boat alone and rowed out to the middle of the cold water of Loch
Ness. Once he reached a spot in the middle of the Lake, the vicar promptly stood
up in the rowing boat and began his exorcism: “Let devil worship and all nefarious
magic cease!” he said in a loud voice. The BBC reporter commentates; “It’s a strange
mission indeed that’s brought the Reverend Omand on a 700-mile journey from his
west-country home to the shores of Loch Ness. Dr. Omand, just retired as a
Vicar of Chiddick, has an appointment with the monster. It’s a coming together
the 71-year old Doctor of Philosophy doesn’t expect Nessie to particularly enjoy;
because Dr. Omand is here to get the monster to change its ways. Many men would
shrink from such an assignment – after all, monsters might be expected to give
short shrift to elderly vicars who come along interfering in their business. However,
Dr. Omand, his canonicals fanned by the breeze, seems to have no qualms as he
heads for the centre of the Loch. It’s there he will perform the ceremony which
he confidently expects will mark the end of a million years of monstrous
behaviour.



The vicar says, “I adjure thee, thou ancient serpent….”



Says
the BBC reporter; “The Vicar’s theory is that the Loch Ness Monster is not a
pre-historic beast that somehow slipped through the evolutionary net and lived
on in the vast depths of the Loch. He maintains that Nessie is an apparition: a
spirit, and an evil one at that; so much so that it’s having a bad effect on the
locals, driving them to drink, foul tempers and black magic. It’s a ceremony
the Vicar has performed on many occasions in other haunted spots and now Dr Omand
is exorcising Loch Ness of the evil spirit of the Monster.”



The Vicar continues; “Depart to the place appointed them, there to remain forever.” The Vicar is standing precariously in the small rowing boat. “Grant that by the power entrusted to the unworthy servant, this Highland Loch and all land adjoining it may be delivered from all evil spirits, all vain imaginations, projections and phantasms, and all the deceits of the evil one. Be gone thou hideous demon, unto thine appointed place and return no more to plague the servants of almighty God.”



With
the exorcism now complete, the vicar sits back down in the rowing boat and rows
back to shore where the BBC awaited his safe return. When the reporter asks him
what does he think the monster is? He replies, “I think it is something that thousands
or even millions of years ago was in this place. I think it was possibly what
we knew in those days as a Dragon. The Dragon, which really of course is the Devil
– it means that. You may not know that in Sweden there is a lake that was just
as famous as Loch Ness, for its monster. I’ve been there and I’ve also seen it
in a Fjord in the North of Norway. And, in both these places, I have found that
it has an injurious effect upon people – people who see ...