Tyler’s not showing much empathy for Eddie and his coffee spillage. Eddie appreciates the setup.

Today he shares some thoughts about tactical empathy. Tactical empathy is another insight Eddie harvested from the book Never Split the Difference.

When you’re trying your best to genuinely, deeply invest in your work with others, you’re practicing tactical empathy. When you make a point to listen carefully with the intent to learn, when you ask clarifying questions, you’re practicing tactical empathy.

Eddie and Tyler’s grandpa has mastered this skill.

If you do this without genuine intent, though–if you only do it mechanically, it’s not likely to improve your connection with the person. Tyler observes that this is a skill crucial to effective therapy.

If you fail to do this, consider leading with a mildly (not overly critical) self-deprecating comment the next time you initiate communication.

Listen. Really, actively listen. Ask good questions.

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