The challenge of being true to yourself and authentically you in a world of hate and vitriol on social media is hard for everyone. Navigating this as a prominent figure in the space is even more challenging.

On this episode we continue our Pride month LGBTQIA+ focus as Kaitlin sits down with Mathew Boudreaux (they/them), who you may know as mxdomestic on TikTok where they have over 600,000 followers. But they are so much more than that! The self-appointed Themperor of Sewing & Crafting, Mathew works in HIV pharmaceuticals, which has been a passion of theirs since growing up in the 1980s & 90s. In their spare time, they use their social media platforms to inspire the interweb with their quilting, sewing, crochet & weaving projects combined with social justice and vulnerability.

Their open conversation centers around vulnerability, accountability, challenge and perils of living in a world of social media hate, loving yourself, protecting your peace, mental health challenges, and so much more. This one is a must listen!

Full Transcript

QUOTES
"That's where I am on my journey. It's just ebb and flow of life. Where I'm trying to find joy and trying to find presence and trying to find peace in a world. That feels everything, all of those things."


"I've been rebuilding myself and discovering myself and really prioritizing my peace despite how fervently I want to like stand up for everything because there's so much to stand up for but wow. Has it done a damage to my spirit. so trying to find the balance right now is a challenge"

"Anytime you can find joy, I mean, you can connect with like-minded people that make you feel less. Crazy. Less lonely. Less isolated less loss. It's a gift"

"I didn't think that one day, I wouldn't have 99% of my relatives in my life. Or that my best friend of like 10 or 20 years I would not have in my life anymore. It's just wild. But I'm also grateful for the space that it's created because I feel like I'm finally able to live authentically."

"They don't they don't want to hear it. It was just about The perception of doing something and caring."

"It was kind of a compartmentalized version of who I was, which was more the entertainer the Uber queer like mascot rainbow human, which is a part of me, but it's more of a mask than it is my authentic self. I just figured more people that were there back then would support the authentic version of me but no, they were just there for the free entertainment."


"I'm a conscious. And present. Caring. Deeply empathetic. Joy-filled. Passionate. Creative. Social Justice Warrior. That is willing to use my 47 years of life and experience to help others."

"Because it's a lot easier to be yourself than to be a mask."

"I'm less concerned about people liking me than I am people seeing me."

"We all want to be accepted, right? But instead of leaning into who we are authentically and saying 'this is who I am, Do you see me? And then do you accept me for me?' People, look at everyone else and say, 'Okay, how can I be accepted more? How can I be liked?' Thinking that that is what's gonna fill the void? But it doesn't fill the void. It just ignores the void and the void gets bigger, but really the only thing that can fill that void is authenticity."

"Especially on social media there is compulsion to try and live up to what people see you as, as opposed to just being yourself and showing up as yourself and and being real."

"that's what allowed me to step into speaking about things that I was uncomfortable with. It's that I knew I would get it wrong. And then it's okay to get it wrong, but if you get it wrong don't pretend like you didn't get it wrong."

"I grew up in a very, conservative religious household. That no one in my family would support or accept me other than my sister, who unfortunately, passed away, everyone else? No, I was the devil. I was a bad human."

"I went from being built up, getting on marketing calls, helping them like launch new things, or even outside of influencer work being in their stores twice, in a calendar year, like Mathew's in their stores to nothing, and they didn't even have the respect to tell me why."

"I would much rather Target pull out of Florida. That's how they show that they're with us, pull out of Florida. Say, 'we're gonna really minimize our inventory and our stores right now because we understand that by putting money into this, this state that we're actually making it worse and harder for the queer community'. But no, they're not doing that. So it's like we should no longer be shocked that these companies aren't going to do that for us because they're really trying to get all of our money. That's all… it's all they want is our money. They don't care about our humanity."

"Those are the times that caused the most harm. When they were people that I thought would have been willing to hear me and be in my corner that were like-minded. It wasn't necessarily those who I expect to hate me. It was those that I don't expect to hate me for something that I do."

"I expect homophobia from homophobes. I expect I expect transphobes to hate that I'm non-binary. I expect that. But when it's someone that, in other circumstances we'd be fighting the same fight on the picket line together, it's just it's weird to me because It's so easy to misunderstand someone online if you choose to"

"My spouse has talked about often is that we originally are from Texas. And they are a black human who preferred the racism of Texas to the woke liberalism of the Pacific Northwest. Because the woke liberal will tell you about your oppression. And tell you how they're going to help you but not listen to what they need to be doing"

"My ego was so invested as being perceived as anti-racist, as a social justice warrior that I stopped listening to how I could be still causing harm. As opposed to taking a back seat and actually seeing how I could do something."

"I want homophobia and I want racism to end. I want it all to end and it's not gonna happen if we keep pulling the finger at each other. It's only going to happen if we ,collectively, those who do see, share your wisdom. Try to change minds and no one can receive any message when they're being attacked."

"The biggest part of it is me realizing I'm never going to be healed. That I'm going to be healing. I was always looking for me to be on the other side so where I could be like 'all right back to normal.' But no, I'm healing and I have to show myself compassion and grace."

"I tried to kill myself in October. For all intents and purposes, I shouldn't be here. But I failed. And it was because I was dissociated not in my body, not in control but when I'm in control, I love life. And I needed to learn how to protect my peace more"

"Kindness is showing up for someone. It doesn't need to smell a certain way or look a certain way or feel a certain way. It's showing up for someone. Fully. To where you really see them."

"Oftentimes that kindness needs to be turned on yourself. To where you learn how to show up for yourself as well."

Connect with us on social media:
'Kindness Is' Podcast Instagram
Kind Cotton Instagram
Kind Cotton TikTok