People judge us by where we come from, by our appearance, by our age, by our religion. They dislike us for the work we do; they dislike us for what they have heard about the work we do. They dislike us for real and legitimate reasons—mistakes we have made, positions we have taken—and for completely fabricated reasons. They project their own insecurities, their own problems onto us. They attribute to us the consequences of their own ignorance, their own deficient comprehension skills, their own poor taste. Have you ever seen, as Kipling said, the truths you have spoken twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools? It is something maddening and sad. Epictetus, however, says we must face all this with a smile. In fact, he joked that when we find ourselves criticised or disliked by some stranger, instead of trying to convert them or argue with them, we should simply say to ourselves, 'If only they really knew me, they would like me even less!'" The fact that people dislike us for invented and ridiculous reasons should not bother us. Superficial and unfounded criticisms are not what we should be concerned with. Instead, let’s focus on what we know we can improve, where we are not meeting our own standards. And if there is any external feedback we consider, any approval we seek, let it come from people who know us well, whom we admire. […] We can ignore everyone else. This immediately reminded me of a colleague from university. The name I will use is not their real name, but their story is true. It's like superheroes: we all know their story, why they exist, but we don't know their real name. However, I think it hardly matters because he has passed away. He died due to his diabetes. He died before finishing his degree. And the short time I spent with him made me like him a lot. In fact, he probably liked me more than I liked him. Unfortunately, I say now. My consciousness at the time didn’t allow me to see the greatness of the human being he was. His name will be João. The same name as my middle brother. Like my middle brother, João from university was one of the kindest people I have ever known.
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