DESCRIPTION
 In this episode of Stress Therapy, Cheri Flake, The Stress Therapist, reveals the surprising secret to making others change – it all starts with you! Learn why your actions, even the smallest ones, can profoundly impact others. From navigating family chores to fostering deeper relationships, Cheri shares her personal experiences and professional insights on how changing yourself can lead to meaningful shifts in those around you. Get ready for a quick but powerful session that will leave you inspired to try something different – and trust us, it works! Plus, stay tuned for a guided meditation to help cultivate compassion for yourself and others.
Meditation Music byhttp://sonicyogi.com

https://open.spotify.com/track/7lpLx4vtoQusvoqidRY6vN?si=0db8efd9082c40ebhttps://open.spotify.com/track/0Qotx90teY3iZ00PgUCwty?si=44a1c18c52e24e1f
Listen to Sonic Yogi on: https://open.spotify.com/artist/2xJT8mRbrqa7rTY6d4y5Fq?si=q2YYpPSzQOmu4R8-W4jkpw https://music.apple.com/us/artist/sonic-yogi/722350162https://amazon.com/music/player/artists/B00FQMVVIC/sonic-yogi?marketplaceId=ATVPDKIKX0DER&musicTerritory=US&ref=dm_sh_Y5q68A8LSQQGzl01PQC7Uaw6chttps://youtu.be/p2jtMEkdh6g?si=rVq-Q8o85mI75S4_

INTERESTING MENTIONS:LIST INTERESTING THINGS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE
https://www.heartwood-retreats.com : location for Cheri’s Georgia Mountain Retreatshttps://www.jekyllisland.com: Location for Cheri’s seaside retreat

The Host for this podcast: Cheri Augustine Flake, LCSW The Stress Therapist and Author
Join Cheri Flake on her Next Meditation And Yoga Retreat!https://thestresstherapist.com/retreats/or https://thestresstherapist.com/beach-retreats/
Love the show? Please rate and review us!

Send some love bucks to the show:Paypal: cheri@thestresstherapist.comVenmo: @cheri-flakeThank you!
https://thestresstherapist.com/contact/
and be a part of the Stress Therapy Community!
Twitter: @stresstherapy
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Join Cheri Flake on herhttps://thestresstherapist.com/retreats/  https://thestresstherapist.com/retreats/ in the gorgeous Georgia Mountains and walk away with a new, solid daily meditation practice with benefits that last a lifetime!ORhttps://thestresstherapist.com/beach-retreats/ on Jekyll Island seaside right off the coast of Georgia.
Want Cheri Flake to be your therapist? If you live in Georgia gohttps://thestresstherapist.com/contact/ to schedule a free 15 minute consultation
https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/15903117.Cheri_Augustine_Flake

https://www.amazon.com/Honey-DONE-Productive-Household-Absolutely/dp/0997950919/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_bdcrb_top?ie=UTF8: Honey Do To Honey DONE! A Simple System For A Productive And Happy Household With Absolutely No More Nagging!
A word from your host, Cheri Flake, LCSW: Feeling good after our Stress Therapy session? Awesome. Check out the show notes to connect with me, The Stress Therapist on social media or go to
http://www.ilovetherapy.com/ to find out about meditation classes & meditation and yoga retreats

TRANSCRIPT:
Stress Therapist: Hey, beautiful people. What's up? People always say that you can't change. People don't change. No matter what you do, you can't change somebody. Wrong. I can tell you how to change someone immediately. And you better be careful with this because it works so well. You gotta think this through. All right? That's what we're gonna do today. So relax and settle in and listen up because your stress therapy session is about to begin right now. Hey, beautiful people. It's time for some stress therapy. A podcast about how to meditate and get better at stress for people living in the real world. Finally, a place to park my 25 plus years of experience of working as a psychotherapist in the mental health field. And now, your host, me, the stress therapist, Sherry flake. Hey, beautiful people, what's up? Okay, today I gotta make it quick. I only have a second. I'm a little delayed in getting this episode out there. It's been crazy. I just got back from a retreat at Jekyll island. It was amazing, but there was no power, there was no gas, there was no food available on the entire island, and there was no cell service. And it was an amazing retreat. I'm going to talk about that next time. But today, today I want to quickly give you this tip, because I hear all the time when I'm working with my clients, people say, I can't get him to change. He won't change. He won't change. And the thing is, the ticket is there's one little sweet, sweet method that works 100% of the time. But you got to be really careful with this method, see, because if you don't use it responsibly, you're going to get a change. You don't want. You know what I'm saying? So you got to be really, really, really careful. Okay? Here's what you do if you want someone to change. Here's the bummer. Here's the kicker. Here's the billboard sign you need to see. You have to change. That's how you get people to change. From the most fundamental thing, where if I just started screaming and running up and down my street, which I never do, and started yelling, fire, fire, I would imagine, or help, help, help. Or call 911, people would change. Right in that moment, they would change. They would become. Hopefully, they would become really good neighbors and maybe come out and, I don't know, I have dogs. Maybe they would ignore me and let me handle it myself. But hopefully my neighbors. My neighbors are lovely, but hopefully my neighbors would come out and they would give me a hand, they would change right then, in the moment, right. Because I'm doing something that's out of the ordinary. That is what you do in the ordinary. Okay? So if you are trying to get your man to empty the dishwasher, let's say, okay, that's a feat. That's a big feat. Okay? I've been. I've done that with my man. I've done that with my kids. That's not. It ain't easy, you know what I'm saying? But you might be doing the exact same thing every time you see that. Those dishes in the sink and the empty dishwasher. You might be, you know, saying something under your breath, you might be criticizing your husband. Whatever it is that you normally do, you have to change it. And I'm telling you, the best way to change it, the best time to change it, no one ever believes me about this is when the dishwasher has been filled by your man. Right? Yeah. That's the shocker. Right? So there's two separate messages here, right? So you have something in your life that you want to be different. You want someone to be different in that scenario. And the way that you do that is you do something different. What you normally do is not going to work. What you normally do is not going to work. What you normally do, it's not gonna work. Okay, I say this all the time, but people think, you know, I have told him a thousand times. Well, then maybe this time you don't tell him. Maybe this time you write him a letter. Maybe this time you have someone else tell him. Maybe you sit him down and tell him what it feels like for you to have. I mean, I literally sat my family down, probably, I don't know, eight or ten years ago. And I was like, listen, I know this doesn't make sense, because I was trying to get everybody to load the dishwasher, okay? So maybe this is a personal testimonial, but I was trying to get everybody to build a dishwasher. Nobody was doing it. I begged them. I pleaded with them. I told them it was just as easy to fill the dishwasher as it is to fill the sink. Nobody ever believes me. And I sat them all down at a time when the dishwasher was full and clean. And I said, listen, I gotta tell you something about me, okay? It doesn't make a lot of sense, and I hope that you'll be sensitive in judging me about this, but I just want you to know that when I see a bunch of dishes in the sink. I take it personally. I know that's so silly now. I was talking to kids, too. It is. It's super silly. It doesn't make any sense because I know you guys aren't putting dish. I mean, hopefully you guys aren't putting dishes in the sink and thinking that it's, like, personal insult. I don't think you're doing that. However, when I come home and I see a bunch of dishes in the sink, I don't know if it's my collective unconscious of other women that I am, like, connecting with over the eons and eons that we've done the dishes or wiped off the leaves or whatever we're using as cutlery and plates thousands of years ago. All I'm saying is, when I come home to a sink full of dirty dishes, it feels personal, and it feels like a personal insult. Does that make sense? No, it doesn't. But I would literally, no kidding, rather have someone come up and slap me in the face