We first zone out on some reporting and comment from Wonkette.com: 

1) "BREAKING! ACHTUNG! DRUDGE SIREN! NEW YORK TIMES SAYS *TRUMP* IS OLD!
Also something about the debate."
2)  "Alex Jones Is Getting Liquidated
Everything must go!"
3)  "Jon Tester Rolls Eyes, Not Coal, At GOP 'Jackasses' Mocking His Prius"

4) WMES News on Violence at Portland's Most Elite Restaurant

5) SoPo comic Louella Wubley kills it at the Mechanic Falls Grange Hall.

Narrated and produced/directed by Dan Bernard; featuring Amanda Eaton, Jennywren Walker and Julie Nye