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You may have heard this advice at some point in your life, “don’t listen to what people say, watch what they do.” Nonverbal communication can be more authentic and transparent than the things we verbally communicate. Vanessa Van Edwards, behavioral investigator, reminds us that nonverbal communication and cues can also send the wrong message if a person is nervous or anxious. In her latest book, Cues: Master the Secret Language of Charismatic Communication, Vanessa explores over 90 cues that will help you become more effective in your communication efforts and perceptive to areas that require more attention or follow through.

Check out Vanessa Van Edwards new book, Cues: https://amzn.to/3leaa1j

Don’t miss Vanessa’s last episode with Lisa, “Are They Lying to You”: https://youtu.be/LkOEShBS6hQ

SHOW NOTES:

Blindsided Cues | When you’re missing cues being shown while focused on your delivery [0:44]
4 Kinds of Cues | Vanessa shares four cues: nonverbal, verbal, vocal, and imagery[2:29]
Imagery Cues | Vanessa explains how to use them to get your message across effectively [3:14]
Goals of Cues | Trying to assess warmth and competence to speed up your connection [8:10]
Listening Cues | Vanessa shares why watching people listen is more telling of their cues [10:00]
Warmth Cues | Why trust and reliability are important cues and the power of a slow nod [13:15]
Danger Zone Cues | How to spot danger zone cues and handle it when you see them [17:12]
Lip Purse Cue | Vanessa explains why lip pursing is a red fag and how to address it [18:33]
Lower Lid Flex | Vanessa describes why this cue that can be positive or negative [22:06]
Question Inflection | Vanessa explains why vocal inflection clues you to deception & lies [24:14]
Shark Tank Case Study | Vanessa shares cue insights on Jamie Siminoff’s pitch [28:02]
4 Space Zone | Vanessa breaks down how to use the 4 space zones to your advantage [32:58]
Fronting Position | Vanessa explains the importance body, toe, and seating position [37:30]
Context & Clusters | Vanessa shares why context matters and cues cannot be isolated [42:25]
Contempt | Vanessa explains why contempt is the #1 cue to get wrong [46:26]

QUOTES:

“If you can cue someone for your warmth and competence, right off the bat, it actually speeds up your connection.” [8:45]

“When someone's listening, they're not rehearsing anymore. They're off the clock, and their brain is much more focused on you.” [11:49]

“If you are smart, you might run into this problem where people underestimate you and your ideas, because you're not delivering them with the right competence and warmth.” [32:47]

“If someone is angled away, and they're just giving you head attention, their body and their feet are looking somewhere else. They are not fully engaged with you.” [41:29]

“Contempt is the number one cue people get wrong.” [47:43]

Follow Vanessa Van Edwards:
Website: https://www.scienceofpeople.com/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/VanessaVanEdwardsYT/featured
Twitter: https://twitter.com/vvanedwards
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/vvanedwards/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/vvanedwards/