Did you hear what happened to Garfield the Bottlenose Dolphin? I don't think I'll ever get over that one. Spirit week is here! Don't go into the teacher's lounge on Wednesday. Look out FOR but don't look AT the escaped specimens as well as the hooded figures hunting them. This month's newsletter is in memory of Tyler Lockhart. 

Creep (Half the Man I Used to Be) lyrics:

I mowed my lawn that day, when I saw a rake
I stepped onto the field, to remove the tool concealed
I waved at my neighbor, Dutch, then I heard the pop of a clutch
With my face down in a weed, my mower made a meal of me

In no time it wounded my hands and took half my spleen
But it took time to grind my bones into a fine white meal
I called for help, waving both my hands,
But one got caught inside the mower wheel

I'm half the man I used to be
This I feel as my vision fades to grey
I'm half the man I used to be
Losing feeling in my extremeties
I'm half the man I used to be
Wish I'd kneeled instead of laid down by the rake
Well I'm half the man I used to be
Half the man I used to be

Feeling half expired, I turned into a crier
Tried to stand on up, but fell on account of my stump
Dutch don't hear me shriek, I wish a neighbor would just creep
Won't someone find me, until then I'll lie in my pee

I got a pirate hand, 'cause I like to steal
They hate me in RPGs, 'cause I can't fight and heal
Take time with my hook hand, 'cause it likes to feel, it likes to OH GOD THERE'S BLOOD EVERYWHERE

I'm half the man I used to be
I still reel whenever I see a rake
I'm half the man I used to be
On halloween I match my hook with a peg leg
I'm half the man I used to be
I fly for cheap in my friend's carry-on duffle bag
I'm half the man I used to be
Half the man I used to be

While I took time to heal my glands, I watched a lot of TV
Rick Grimes let things get out of hand, and T-Dog became a meal
Rick's son shot his bitten mom, and made him cry out in pain
"Carl that kills people!"

I'm half the man I used to be
My hook hand's sharpened steel affects my dating game
I'm half the man I used to be
Copping a feel only ever seems to maim
I'm half the man I used to be
I got the role in a Batman porno as Two-Face
Well I'm half the man I used to be
I'm half the man I used to be
I'm half the man I used to be