Forgiving, But Not Forgetting The phrase “forgive and forget” is not found in the Bible. However, there are numerous verses commanding us to “forgive one another” (e.g., Matthew 6:14 and Ephesians 4:32). A Christian who is not willing to forgive others will find his fellowship with God hindered (Matthew 6:15) and can reap bitterness and the loss of reward (Hebrews 12:14–15; 2 John 1:8).

If by “forgive and forget” one means, “I choose to forgive the offender for the sake of Christ and move on with my life,” then this is a wise and godly course of action. As much as possible, we should forget what is behind and strive toward what is ahead (Philippians 3:13). We should forgive each other “just as in Christ God forgave” (Ephesians 4:32).

We must not allow a root of bitterness to spring up in our hearts (Hebrews 12:15).However, changing hearts is God’s business, and, until an offender has a true, supernatural heart change, it is only wise to limit the level of trust one places in that person.

Being cautious doesn’t mean we haven’t forgiven. It simply means we are not God and we cannot see that person’s heart. When we neglect or refuse to forgive the sins of others, we become like a collection agency. The debt of their sin weighs us down with an obligation to make them pay.

At first, we may relish the prospect of extracting restitution from the person who wronged us. Over time, though, the task of debt collection grows burdensome. When the offender does not meet our expectations, our hearts harden toward them.

If we continue the relationship, resentment may seep in.

I was in a discussion the other day about forgiveness and somebody said forgiving isn't forgetting it's just remembering without anger they also suggested forgiveness can't be extended unless repentance is first expressed?Some suggest that we can only forgive when someone truly repents or that we can somehow forgive but not forget.In Luke chapter 23 Jesus prayed for the soldiers who were crucifying him and he said “father forgive them for they don't know what they're doing” and his prayer asking forgiveness isn't based on any repentance on the part of the soldiers In Matthew 18 when Peter asked how many times he's to forgive someone who sinned against him Jesus doesn't condition forgiveness on the requirement for repentance on the part of the offending party. Peter was willing to forgive 7 times but Jesus said no it needs to be 70 * 7 which I think is a hypothetical grand number. A number suggesting you need to extend forgiveness an infinite number of times.

still another verse is ephesians 4:26 where we are told that when we get angry we are not to sin and we're told to be sure not to let the sun go down on our wrath now, when it comes to the concept or argument or proposition that forgiving isn't forgetting, that I still struggle to match that up with Scripture.

in Hebrews 8:12 God said I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more. I am concerned that when someone says “I'll forgive but I won't forget” I'm not sure they've truly forgivenI think that's the point being stressed there in the Hebrews 8:12 passage where, you know, God can't ever forIget something since he's omniscient, but the verse is suggesting that true forgiveness, from a divine and a human perspective, is as if we've forgotten that the offense took place

Without pushing the divine human analogy too far, I think that is what Hb 8:12 is referring to so I believe when we forgive, even when someone hasn't asked to be forgiven, we're mirroring what Jesus did on the cross and it allows us to guard against harboring resentment which can produce a root of bitterness which Hebrews 12:15 says we're not supposed to have.

One mark of true forgiveness on our part is that the memory of the offense will fade over time so that we don't dwell on itForgiveness means giving up our claim against the person who sinned against us.

Depending on the nature of the offense, a pardon may also include the restoration of a broken relationship. When restoration is reasonable and safe, trust must be earned.While reunification may not be possible or prudent in every instance, God always wants us to forgive.